Bias, Respect, and other thoughts about the online autism community.

We're talking about respect on a list I belong to: how to teach people about treating others with respect; how to disagree with one another respectfully; etc. This discussion has been quite interesting, and has come around to the topic of bias, and how everyone has a bias, whether they admit it or not.

When we interact with people, our biases come out of hiding. We may not be aware of what's going on, but it does become fairly obvious. And not all biases are necessarily "bad"; caution when interacting with strangers is, in my opinion, a good idea.

However, bias can get in the way of respect, and that is definitely a problem.

I try to operate on the assumption that all people are worthy of my respect, regardless of who they are, what they've done, what they haven't done, etc. I do my best to treat everyone with respect, giving them the benefit of the doubt when they behave in a manner I dislike, and offering my opinions without judging them or their opinions.

It's not easy. People can be very obviously closed to hearing what I have to say. They "put words in my mouth" (extrapolating meaning that was not there). And it becomes incredibly difficult to respond to such behaviour with respect, since disrespect engenders disrespect.

Unfortunately, I do have a bias against people who are intolerant of others' differences. This bias makes it incredibly difficult for me to treat such people with respect. As a result, I try to distance myself from such people and discussions about these kinds of issues.

Of course, this coping mechanism isn't exactly productive for someone who wants to be an advocate for the rights of those with disabilities.

And so I have to work to participate in the kinds of discussions that make it difficult for me to behave respectfully towards those involved. I'm hoping that I'll be able to help create change this way - even if it is a small change.

True objectivity does not exist. Even in the world of science, we have experimenter bias, writer bias, and reader bias. (Never mind the biases of the editors of the publications the papers are being published in!) It is very important that we all acknowledge the existence of such biases in our lives, and do our best to look past them to get to the real "bottom of things".

For my part, I am going to attempt to focus more on that whole "respect" thing. We have to treat each other with respect, at all times. No questioning diagnoses, no insults - just honest questions and responses when we're discussing these issues that we all care so much about.

Yes, this is difficult. Some autistic people have difficulty recognising the validity of others' opinions. (A lot of neurotypicals share this problem.) A lot of us in the community are blunt, and bluntness is often read as being rude in the world. However, true rudeness has a different quality to it from plain old bluntness, and it's important also to recognise that.

At the same time, having a diagnosis (of any kind) doesn't excuse us from being polite and respectful. It is not impossible for us to learn new skills, just difficult, and while it may be difficult to see the point in learning these particular skills, it will - in the end - enable us to be taken more seriously in the world at large. The general public will respect us and our message much more, and they will really begin to listen.

And, in the end, isn't that what we need?

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