Girls and ADHD and eating disorders etc.

An article on the CBC web site announces that teenage girls with ADHD are more likely to develop bulimia than their non-ADHD peers.

The afternoon announcer on Shine FM, the local Christian radio station, asked for people to write her an e-mail about this article.

Here is what I wrote to her:

Hi,

I wanted to write because I am a 31-year old woman who was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 28. Suddenly everything made sense (well, nearly everything); my lack of organizational skills, my sensory sensitivities, my impulsivity, etc. Two years later, clinical depression was added, and I am currently only taking medication for my depression - nothing for my ADHD.

When I was diagnosed with ADHD, I was also told that I had been using anxiety to manage my ADHD symptoms. I have the inattentive type of ADHD, and that makes me less likely (according to the study) to develop an eating disorder. However, my anxiety came out (and still does come out, occasionally) in the form of obsessive-compulsive behaviours and some very mild self-damaging behaviours. I bit my nails until I was 17 (at which point my parents got me fake nails for my grade 12 grad, and that got me to quit). When I was feeling badly about myself (due to depression &/or anxiety, or simply because I'd made some social faux pas yet again), I would often find solace in either eating too much or consciously limiting the amount of food I could eat.

Even though I am now on medication for my depression (and it does work, thank God!), I still find myself engaging in these self-destructive behaviours. There are some obsessive or compulsive behaviours that are not harmful to anyone, and I have never really been concerned about them, even though some of them have to do with food, because they are literally harmless (having to do with what order I eat my food and the fact that I sort my Smarties and M&M's by colour and then eat them in order either by number or rainbow). However, I still catch myself deciding that I "don't deserve to eat because I'm so stupid", and I tend to snack on junk food when I'm bored. The former hasn't happened since January, but I still worry about it. One thing I've always been glad of is that I'm so impulsive, I will never actually develop anorexia - it's impossible for me to stick to any kind of limiting plan like that for long!

I think I was very lucky with my family. My father, an Anglican priest, and my mother, a piano teacher, raised my three younger brothers and I with understanding. They nurtured our differences and allowed us - even encouraged us! - to be ourselves and to be individuals. While there were certainly some areas in which they had trouble being as supportive as they could have been (I was actively discouraged from pursuing a writing career, something to which I know I have been called), we were generally accepted as we were and taught to do the same for others. (Not a one of us is quite "normal", so really who are we to judge?)

I have worked with autistic children since 1999, and I have found that it is easier to teach children (regardless of their diagnosis; I have also taught Sunday School) if there are clear boundaries and expectations set and if the children's interests and strengths are the focus of the teaching. Individuality is something that is so important to us all, and it needs to be encouraged and grown in our children and teens. Without that, self-esteem is even harder to come by. And trust me, I know all about having poor self-esteem.

I have been in counseling in the past, both before and after receiving my diagnosis. I sought it out when I was nearing burnout because my anxiety was becoming unmanageable - I was having panic attacks. I am no longer in counseling, but I am still learning how to work with my brain (instead of against it) in order to manage my life.

I trust God for a lot of things. I've had to find ways to keep on top of my finances, because I tend to impulsively buy gifts for people - not a bad idea, but when you're on a tight budget already, not a good one, either. I'm still not totally together financially, but I'm learning what works for me and what doesn't, and that's the important thing. I spent two years working full-time as a church secretary, and I finally had to leave that job because it required so much from me that is so incredibly difficult. Being a secretary is hard work! You have to be organized (not something I am good at staying, though I can often get there on my own) and on top of a lot of things all at once (that I'm good at, but I'm also easily distracted). I've gone back to working with autistic children full-time, and this work is much more suited to the way my mind works; I'm able to be creative in my approach to my sessions with the children, they often change activities before I'm even ready to move on (that's pretty amazing), and we seem to understand each other fairly well.

Of course, as I noted earlier, my true calling is writing. I've had one short article published in Calgary's Child (last September/October), but I'm working on a couple of novels and write short stories a lot. Writing has always been one of the best ways for me to communicate, and it affords me the opportunity to feed my random and distractible mind - if I'm interested in something, I can research it and then write about it and then attempt to sell the result!

Learning to embrace myself as I am hasn't been easy. But I have to keep in mind the fact that God made me this way - ADHD is developmental, not acquired - and that while I certainly do have challenges in my life, he has also taken care of me all along. I do my best to follow him and be an example of Christ to others, and I truly believe that the best way to do that is by not only accepting others as they are, but by accepting myself as I am.

After all, the greatest commandment is to love God with everything we are, and the second is to love others as we love ourselves. How can we love others if we don't love ourselves?

-Janna

--
http://thehoskincentre.com

"Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." - Albert Camus
"I want to remake the world; anything less is not worth the trouble." - Karen Cushman